Whew. It has not been a good couple of weeks for meditating.
In fact, I had an eight-day lapse.
I’d love to be able to blame ECG for disrupting my rhythm, and maybe I can on some level (despite the fact that I engaged in several wonderful guided meditations that weekend), but I only have myself to hold responsible for not reestablishing my practice.
Rather than beat myself up about the gap, however, it will likely be more productive to strategize about how to get back into the swing of things. First things first: see how bad things actually are.
- Didn’t meditate/record meditation from 9/26-10/3
- Still have managed to have at least 20 minutes a week, however.
- Despite all this, September was one of my best months for sheer time (150 mins) spent meditating that I’ve had.
So maybe things aren’t as bleak as all that. One of the advantages of the timer app is that it holds me accountable. One of the disadvantages is that my inner perfectionist wants to give up at the first sign of possible failure. Sounds like it’s time to remind the perfectionist that even someone who fails is still worthy of love.
Now, to boil some water and steep some meditation tea.
The Druid's Well 
Yeah I’ve found from personal experience that not only does beating myself up not accomplish anything, but then I completely fall off the bandwagon because I feel like I’ve failed and why bother trying. (Yay Capricorn perfectionism. [Virgos are just as bad. >.>]) The best thing to do is what you did – an assessment, and a strategy to get back on track. Be gentle with yourself, setbacks happen, and we are allowed to get off course every now and again, we can find our way back to the road when it’s time.
Yes, even people who do not do everything perfectly are worthy of love, so. *pats* ❤
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The best thing I’ve found to combat Ye Olde Cappy Perfectionism is to ask Saturn to guide me in knowing when to cut my losses, or if something is “good enough” to keep going forward. Scary, even for a sign with a Saturn affinity, but well worth it.
There was an excellent TED talk that I caught on NPR a month or so ago that dealt with shame and vulnerability. One thing the speaker said was that at it’s heart, shame is a fear of being found unworthy of connection. When I remind myself of that definition, it really helps change the “why bother” mindset.
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