The Weight of Living

There’s an albatross around your neck,
All the things you’ve said,
And the things you’ve done,
Can you carry it with no regrets,
Can you stand the person you’ve become […]

Your Albatross, let it go, let it go,
Your albatross shoot it down, shoot it down
When you just can’t shake
The heavy weight of living

Stepping forward out into the day
Shrugging off the dust and memory
Though it’s soaring still above your head
It is out of sight and none shall see.

–Bastille, “The Weight of Living, Pt. 1”

Clearly, I took something of a break from blogging for the last four weeks.  I can’t say that I have any regrets about the hiatus, except for the fact that I did not do it deliberately.  The weight of the holidays, dying clients, and having my father in the hospital put me in a more reflective than productive mood from the end of December to the beginning of January.

The holidays themselves were better than I could have imagined post-divorce.  My landlady was kind enough to let me host our Grove’s Solstice gathering, and I was enlivened by the good humor and companionship, and humbled at our group’s generosity and the lack of any dirty dishes by the end of the event.  New Years was spent with a few close friends.  We did divination for each other at midnight, and compared notes on our experience of the Ovate Grade.  It was good.  I did stick to my resolution not to make any resolutions this year!  And my Grove Mom made sure I remembered my birthday, spoiling me with a meal of calf tongue and mozzarella while my son was sick with pink eye.

There has been enough change in 2013/2014 to last me a good long while.  I don’t want to shoot that albatross, because it’s a part of me. But, letting it fly on its own for a while, carry its own weight, now that I can get behind.